| BYSG | Bar | 93 | Extra 8
Cheng Mofei spent the entire night reflecting but still couldn’t figure out why the issue lay with him because he simply didn’t believe he had done anything to upset Shen Yu.
They had known each other since they were four or five years old, for more than a decade. No one understood each other better than they did.
He knew everything Shen Yu liked and disliked, and he was certain he couldn’t have done anything to make him unhappy.
Yet, the truth was right in front of him.
Shen Yu’s unusual mood was indeed because of him.
Cheng Mofei’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he quickly stepped into the room, walked up to Shen Yu, and asked directly, “Did I do something wrong?”
There had never been any need for detours between them, and he didn’t want to let a problem drag on without solving it.
Shen Yu’s fingers unconsciously tightened around the plush orange cat he was holding.
His lips moved slightly before he shoved the plush toy into Cheng Mofei’s arms, turned around, and continued making the bed.
As if speaking casually, he said, “No, I was just really tired last night. Don’t overthink it. You were supposed to move back home after the college entrance exam anyway.
“Oh, right. You have to visit Grandma today. You should go, I’ll help you pack.”
Cheng Mofei lightly tugged at the leaf of the plush orange cat, letting it droop as he stared intently at Shen Yu’s back.
Shen Yu didn’t turn around, nor did he say anything more.
The cost of silence between them was too high. He didn’t want to lose Cheng Mofei as a good friend, but the feelings buried deep in his heart ached, so much so that they needed to keep a certain distance, the kind of distance that regular friends maintained.
Cheng Mofei was too good to him, and that wasn’t a good thing.
It only made him fall deeper.
And falling deeper with no outcome, was just a form of self-destruction.
“Aren’t you coming with me? Grandma would love to see you too,” Cheng Mofei’s voice sounded from behind him.
“I’m a bit tired after the college entrance exam,” Shen Yu reused the same excuse. “I’ll visit Grandma in a few days.”
When Grandma last returned to Yancheng, he and Cheng Mofei had visited her together. Now that the college entrance exam was over, there was no real urgency to go again.
As they spoke, Shen Xunyan suddenly walked over and glanced inside. “Xiao Cheng is heading back?”
Shen Yu answered on his behalf, “Yeah, I’m helping him pack his things.”
Cheng Mofei’s grip on the plush orange cat’s leaf tightened even more. If it were a real orange, it would have been crushed by now.
Hearing this, Shen Xunyan turned to Cheng Mofei and said, “Alright then, you should head to the nursing home to see your grandma. Later, Uncle Ning and I will help send your things back.”
With his path completely blocked, Cheng Mofei had no choice but to grit his teeth and nod.
He had indeed arranged to visit his grandma today with his parents, and he had already informed her in advance, there was no way to change the plan.
But he had originally wanted to go with Shen Yu.
…
Cheng Mofei left, taking the plush orange cat with him.
The plush orange cat was a birthday gift Shen Yu had given Cheng Mofei years ago. Back then, Cheng Mofei was still just a little boy who could hug the plush toy tightly in his arms.
Years had passed, and the plush toy had become somewhat worn from being handled so much. But instead of throwing it away, Cheng Mofei had stuffed it with new cotton to keep it intact.
After Cheng Mofei left, Shen Yu stopped packing. As if all his strength had drained away, he collapsed onto the bed.
He didn’t dare get too close to him, but after pushing him away, his heart ached.
How pathetic.
Shen Yu closed his eyes, emptying his mind for a few seconds.
This was supposed to be the happiest summer after finishing the college entrance exam, yet he couldn’t find any joy in it.
Before long, he pulled himself up from the bed and continued packing up Cheng Mofei’s belongings.
From the stationery on the desk to the clothes in the wardrobe, and even the scattered items like Cheng Mofei’s basketball—bit by bit, he gathered them all.
Every item carried countless memories.
While folding the clothes, Shen Yu gripped Cheng Mofei’s high school uniform and stood frozen for a long time.
Graduation was approaching, and the third-year students had started a trend of signing each other’s uniforms as a keepsake. In the days leading up to the college entrance exam, almost every break was spent gathering in small groups, leaving signatures on each other’s uniforms.
He and Cheng Mofei were no exception.
There was always meaning behind a signature, its size, its placement—all carried hidden emotions.
On Cheng Mofei’s uniform, just below the high school emblem that sat slightly above the heart, only two beautiful characters were written: Shen Yu.
Cheng Mofei was the first to ask him for a signature, and Shen Yu had deliberately signed it there.
Many people thought unspoken love was filled with bitterness, but to him, it was both sour and sweet.
It was time to end this unrealistic crush.
This road was not easy to walk, and he didn’t want to drag Cheng Mofei, who had no inclination toward anything beyond friendship, into it.
He had harbored this secret love for three years, watched him for three years, and taken for granted Cheng Mofei’s kindness for three years, it was time to put a period at the end of it.
Shen Yu carefully folded the uniform jacket, tucking the part with his signature inside, out of sight.
…
Cheng Mofei went to visit his grandmother.
Noticing his unusual mood, Grandma asked him what was wrong. Not wanting her to worry, he simply said that he had stayed out too late at the graduation party the night before and was just a little tired.
At noon, the family had lunch together. Grandma had many dietary restrictions, but she still ate happily.
Grandma also asked about Shen Yu and whether he had come along.
Cheng Mofei told her that Shen Yu was tired and would come visit her in a few days.
After leaving the nursing home, he returned home.
His bedroom had been cleaned in advance, but after years of not living there, it felt empty and lifeless, completely devoid of any personal warmth. Sleeping here tonight would probably lead to insomnia.
…Though, sleeping in Shen Yu’s room last night hadn’t been much better.
A wave of frustration rose in Cheng Mofei’s chest.
He replayed everything he had done last night once again, trying to figure out what had gone wrong.
During dinner, he had given Shen Yu plenty of food, to the point where Shen Yu barely had to lift his chopsticks, he only needed to eat and chat.
Could it be that he had accidentally given him something he didn’t like?
No, that was impossible. He had been careful to pick only Shen Yu’s favorites.
After dinner, on the way to the KTV, they had even gossiped about a couple of classmates who had confessed to each other.
Shen Yu had been in a good mood, even asking if Cheng Mofei had anyone he wanted to confess to. He had immediately shaken his head in denial, what was the point of dating? Hanging out with his best friend was way better.
He had already mapped out all their summer plans together.
At the KTV, Shen Yu hadn’t been very interested in singing and had stayed by Cheng Mofei’s side, playing games instead. During the game of Truth or Dare, Shen Yu had never been chosen and had simply watched others play.
Later, after they returned from the restroom, Shen Yu suddenly said he was tired and left early.
Where exactly did things go wrong?
Cheng Mofei just couldn’t figure it out.
He even messaged Ning Que to ask, but Ning Que said he had no idea either. Shen Yu hadn’t mentioned anything to him last night and, surprisingly, hadn’t even stayed in his room. Instead, he had chosen to sleep alone in the living room.
He wouldn’t even sleep in the same room with Ning Que… Just how badly had Cheng Mofei messed up to make Shen Yu this upset??
From the moment he left in the morning until now, Shen Yu hadn’t sent him a single message.
Cheng Mofei unlocked his phone, opened his chat with Shen Yu for the Nth time, and finally gave in. He sent a “hamster peeking” emoji, followed by a message:
[Wanna have dinner together tonight?]
Shen Yu wasn’t the type to take the initiative, so Cheng Mofei had to be the one to do it.
Besides, he was the one who had upset Shen Yu, though he still didn’t know how but he had to make it right.
Shen Yu replied quickly:
[Mm, I told my mom you’re coming over for dinner. I’ve packed up all your stuff, so you can take it back with you.]
Cheng Mofei’s heart plummeted.
…
When he arrived at Shen Yu’s house, the first thing he saw was a pile of neatly packed boxes and bags, all filled with his belongings.
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, standing amidst the packed-up items, feeling an inexplicable sense of emptiness and unease.
Dinner went on as usual, Shen Yu brought him his favorite drink, served him a bowl of soup, and asked about his grandma’s health, making it seem like nothing had happened at all.
Only Ning Que occasionally shot them curious, probing glances.
After dinner, Shen Yu and his parents helped Cheng Mofei move all his belongings back home. Once everything was unloaded, they didn’t stay long and drove off.
Cheng Mofei spent the entire night unpacking, placing everything back into his room.
As his room gradually filled up, instead of feeling a sense of completion, he only felt an overwhelming emptiness.
Loneliness, more than anything.
He and Shen Yu had always been inseparable—the best of friends. They understood each other better than anyone else. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what his life would be like if, one day, Shen Yu was no longer by his side.
On December 21, 2012, the day the Mayans had supposedly predicted the end of the world.
Back then, they were still in middle school. That day, as they sat in the classroom, the room buzzed with chatter, students laughing and joking about the so-called “apocalypse.”
Shen Yu had turned to him and asked, “What if the world really ends today?”
He had said, "In the next life, let's still be good brothers."
Shen Yu had given him a high-five and said, "It's a promise."
That night, they kept their phones on and stayed online until 23:59:59, waiting for the new day to begin.
The apocalypse never came.
The next life was too far away, and he didn’t want this life to end without being able to remain brothers with Shen Yu.
…
After returning home, Shen Yu took a shower and went to his room to lie down on his bed, scrolling through his phone.
Besides maintaining an appropriate distance from Cheng Mofei as a friend, Shen Yu also decided to try exploring circles related to his sexual orientation.
In the past, Shen Yu had been too busy with his high school studies to pay attention to such things. But now, after graduating, he finally had the time.
He didn’t hide his sexual orientation. After all, it was something innate and not something he could change.
The reason he had kept it a secret before was that he was afraid his feelings for Cheng Mofei might be exposed.
But now, after three years of secret admiration and observation, he had decided to let go of those feelings and not fear his sexual orientation becoming known to those around him.
His mother’s art studio even had same-sex couples, and he had heard her talk about it before. His parents were open-minded people, and as long as he communicated well with them, he was sure they would accept it.
So, he downloaded some dating apps for same-sex individuals and even visited some related forums.
There were many people with different backgrounds on those platforms, and Shen Yu wasn’t naive. He didn’t easily trust others.
One day, he came across a senior from Yanda University named Han Xuan. It was early June, and Shen Yu hadn’t started his summer break yet.
The two of them got along well and shared similar values.
Han Xuan was the only person Shen Yu had exchanged contact information with.
Han Xuan introduced Shen Yu to some gay bars in Yancheng City, mentioning that he knew two of the owners quite well. The places were nice, safe, and a good way to meet people, but he advised Shen Yu to stay cautious.
Han Xuan also invited Shen Yu to play mahjong sometime, but Shen Yu had never played before and wasn’t particularly interested. He casually said he’d join if he had the time.
In the end, Shen Yu decided to visit one of the gay bars that Han Xuan recommended.
It wasn’t about trying his luck or meeting anyone specific, it was simply about experiencing the scene and interacting with people who had the same sexual orientation.
Before going, he had researched the place online, and the reviews were all positive. The environment was good, and the bar was located in a busy area with a lot of foot traffic.
Going alone still made him feel a little uneasy, but it was time to gather the courage and take this step.
...
These past few days, Cheng Mofei had been enduring the grueling driving lessons his parents had arranged for him, practicing from morning till night. His plan was to finish the theory test (Subject 1) and then quickly tackle the practical tests (Subjects 2 and 3).
He had originally planned to get his driver’s license after the college entrance exams and then go on a road trip with Shen Yu.
He’d been driving his electric scooter for three years, and it was about time for Shen Yu to experience the comfortable front passenger seat instead of being squeezed behind him.
Shen Yu had initially planned to get his driver’s license too, but ever since the day he upset Shen Yu, whenever he invited him to the driving school, Shen Yu would politely refuse.
Shen Yu's excuse was that it was too hot in the summer, and he planned to wait until the university semester started when it wasn’t so scorching, then find some time to go.
It was true, Shen Yu hated the sun. He didn’t like going outside in the summer because his skin would burn easily, and he also hated the feeling of sweating.
The two families didn’t live close to each other, and every time Cheng Mofei suggested visiting Shen Yu, Shen Yu would come up with various reasons to decline.
Cheng Mofei had no choice but to "harass" him every day on WeChat, subtly asking about his day.
Shen Yu replied to every message, and while he wasn’t really distancing himself or ignoring him, Cheng Mofei could sense that Shen Yu wasn’t as warm toward him as before.
The early summer heat was already making him feel irritated and stifled. Cheng Mofei felt like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode at any moment.
Then one day, while he was reviewing for the theory test (Subject 1), he suddenly received a call from Shen Yu.
Cheng Mofei eagerly tapped to answer.
"Can you come pick me up?" Shen Yu’s voice came through the phone, accompanied by some music and background noise.
Without thinking, Cheng Mofei walked straight to the door and responded, "Sure. Where are you? Send me your location."
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