Brother, you smell good - 59

 

| BYSG | Complicated Thoughts | 59

On the other hand, Shen Yu was attentively listening to the lecture without any distractions.

Cheng Mofei’s phone was placed beside his textbook, face down with the phone case facing up. In his peripheral vision, there was always a reassuring hint of orange, as if someone was accompanying him in class.

Unfortunately, he and Cheng Mofei were not in the same grade. Otherwise, he could have chosen the same elective courses and attended class with him.

As for his own phone, which was now with Cheng Mofei… He wasn’t worried about Cheng Mofei seeing anything on it.

The dating app had always been hidden in the most concealed folder, so Cheng Mofei was unlikely to find it. 

Even if he did, there was nothing that could be done about it, perhaps it might even turn out to be a good opportunity. Sometimes, plans might not be as effective as fate’s arrangements.

He also thought about the social media post he had deliberately shared earlier.

After Meng Li started keeping a distance from him, he had set that post to be visible only to himself instead of deleting it.

After all, that post was an honest reflection of his emotions at the time. And isn’t that what social media is for recording these moments? 

When he finally wins over Cheng Mofei, looking back at these memories would be quite interesting.

If Cheng Mofei saw it… maybe it would be another good opportunity.

When it came to love, he had always been clumsy. Even after living two lifetimes, he hadn’t made much progress. Perhaps it was his inherent shortcoming, he was always passively waiting for opportunities to appear on their own.

The only thing he could guarantee was that if he and Cheng Mofei got together, he would never let things end in the same messy, on-and-off way they had in his past life due to his own issues.

As for pursuing Cheng Mofei, no matter how many lifetimes he went through, he would always be extra cautious. It wasn’t just because of his cowardice, it was simply because he cared too much. 

He was terrified that even the slightest mistake could mean missing out on him in this lifetime.

His past life had been exhausting, filled with overthinking and unnecessary worries. In this life, he only wanted to keep things simple, do what he loved, love who he loved, and enjoy the life he wanted. A firm belief, that’s all.

…

Cheng Mofei didn’t continue looking through Shen Yu’s phone. He turned off the screen and rested his head on the desk.

Seeing this, Xiao Xiong and Sun Xinghe whispered in concern, “What’s wrong? Are you not feeling well?”

"I'm fine, just a little sleepy," Cheng Mofei muttered, his voice muffled as he kept his head down.

Since it was an easy class and the first two periods after lunch, many students were slacking off. As long as they didn’t disrupt the lesson, taking a nap wasn’t a big deal. 

Seeing this, Xiao Xiong and Sun Xinghe didn’t press further and left him alone.

But Cheng Mofei wasn’t actually tired, nor could he fall asleep. He lay there with his eyes closed, listening to the sound of a video playing from the teacher’s PowerPoint, yet his mind was unusually clear.

He had always heard from others that Shen Yu liked someone. His later observations and speculations were all from an indirect perspective, piecing things together bit by bit.

But that social media post just now was the first time he had directly felt Shen Yu’s affection and deep care for that person.

He didn’t want Shen Yu to be with that person.

In his personal opinion, that person wasn’t good enough for Shen Yu. He could find countless flaws in them, and more importantly, they severely affected his relationship with Shen Yu, forcing Shen Yu into an awkward position between them.

But Shen Yu had liked them for so many years, with such heavy emotions, such deep longing.

Was that really something he could change so easily?

He and Shen Yu had only known each other for a few months, how could that possibly compare to years of deep feelings?

Suddenly, he realized that no matter how much he hinted or tried to persuade, Shen Yu would never give up.

Shen Yu might be a year younger than him, barely an adult, but from their daily interactions, Cheng Mofei could tell that Shen Yu was actually a mature and steady person. 

Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been able to come all the way here alone and manage everything so well.

He had never thought of Shen Yu as someone who could be easily swayed by others.

If Shen Yu was truly determined about something, then no one, no matter who they were, could change his mind.

Thinking about it carefully, Shen Yu had already shared his feelings about that person with Auntie Shen, which meant he was absolutely serious about it.

All these thoughts and analyses Cheng Mofei had been going over in his head seemed ridiculous now, like the futile efforts of a clown. They shouldn’t have existed in the first place.

In the end, he might even make Shen Yu unhappy and make him feel like he was interfering too much, or worse, affect their own relationship.

Why was it like this…?

How could he solve it…?

The heating in the room was too high, making him feel dizzy and short of breath.

Cheng Mofei took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. Only by staying rational could he figure out a solution.

Known facts:

1. That person and he did not get along, meaning Shen Yu could likely only have one of them in his life.

2. Shen Yu liked that person but hadn’t gotten together with them yet.

Question: How could he prevent Shen Yu from being with that person?

A sudden thought flashed through Cheng Mofei’s mind. His eyes snapped open.

If Shen Yu or that person got into a relationship with someone else first… wouldn’t that make it impossible for them to be together?

This wasn’t ancient times, this was a modern, monogamous world.

He barely knew anything about that person, and they were far away in the south, making it impossible to act from that side.

That left only one possibility—Shen Yu.

He could only act from Shen Yu’s side.

Act from Shen Yu’s side… Make Shen Yu get together with someone else…

With whom?

Cheng Mofei’s heart suddenly started pounding wildly.

A certain line from the WeChat chat history surfaced uncontrollably in his mind—

[Your roommate is way too handsome. Can you handle it?]

What if… what if Shen Yu got together with him?

Cheng Mofei abruptly sat up straight, his pupils trembling, his ears burning red.

At the front of the classroom, the teacher was flipping through the PowerPoint slides, head down, focused on the screen. No one noticed the sudden movement on his side.

Cheng Mofei sat by the window, the innermost seat. Xiao Xiong, sitting to his right, was playing a tower defense game on his phone and was suddenly startled by Cheng Mofei’s sudden movement, his hand shook, causing him to misplace a unit, lose a monster, and ultimately fail the game.

Frustrated and confused, Xiao Xiong turned to look at him. The first thing he noticed was the unnatural flush on Cheng Mofei’s ears. He lowered his voice and asked, “Brother Fei, are you sick?”

As he spoke, he reached out to feel Cheng Mofei’s forehead.

It was a little warm, but not quite like a fever.

Cheng Mofei flinched away, his gaze shifting toward the window, avoiding eye contact with anyone. In a hushed voice, he replied, “No, just had a bad dream. And the heating in here is too much.”

“Oh.” Xiao Xiong didn’t doubt him. The heating was indeed overly warm this year. 

Shrugging, he went back to his game.

But Cheng Mofei’s heart showed no sign of slowing down. It pounded violently, as if it wanted to break free from his chest.

Maybe only when his blood stopped rushing through his veins would this overwhelming heat finally subside.

—What the hell was he thinking?!

—Was his brain broken?!

He and Shen Yu… How could he and Shen Yu ever…

Yet, deep inside, a voice kept whispering, insistent and tempting:

If you’re with Shen Yu, no other man will ever have the chance to approach him. You’ll always be the closest person to him. 

No one will ever come between you two again. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?

Like the haunting melody of a siren, it chipped away at his rationality, little by little.

But… but they were best friends, sworn brothers.

And he was straight. He had never once considered being with another guy.

Sure, he wasn’t as homophobic as before, but the idea of being with a man— hugging, holding hands, kissing made him uncomfortable. 

Not in a judgmental way, but in the simple, instinctive discomfort of physical intimacy with the same sex.

But if that person was Shen Yu…

Cheng Mofei’s hand, resting idly on the desk, unconsciously clenched into a fist. His neatly trimmed nails dug deep into his palm, leaving red imprints. It hurt, but he didn’t even notice.

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. His mouth felt dry, his eyes locked onto two clouds merging outside the window.

And suddenly, he realized—

If that person was Shen Yu, he didn’t feel any resistance at all.

Shen Yu always carried that sweet, citrusy scent he liked. He liked the feeling of being held by Shen Yu, and he liked holding him too. 

Every time they slept together, he would wake up with Shen Yu nestled in his arms.

He had held Shen Yu’s hand before, it was smaller than his and slightly cool when they were outside, it always needed to be tucked into his pocket to warm up.

And as for kissing… He had never kissed Shen Yu. 

But when he imagined it—

Shen Yu, always looking a bit like a dazed little hamster, would definitely be stunned if he kissed him out of nowhere. He could almost picture the cute, dumbfounded expression Shen Yu would make.

…Fuck.

Even someone like Cheng Mofei, who rarely swore, couldn’t help but curse inwardly. His thoughts were spiraling completely out of control.

Was he seriously having improper thoughts about his good brother?!

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