| BYSG | Film | 60
For the entire following lesson, Cheng Mofei was somewhat absent-minded.
Things like holding hands and hugging could all be explained as just being good friends. Besides Shen Yu, he often linked arms with the other two guys in his dorm as well.
But kissing was different. He imagined for a moment kissing the other two guys in his dorm, and he immediately felt a wave of disgust.
Even if it was just for the sake of joking around, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
Apart from the two guys in his dorm, he also mentally imagined doing the same with other close friends, and without exception—it made his skin crawl.
It was only with Shen Yu that he didn’t feel this kind of negative reaction.
In fact… in fact, he even looked forward to seeing Shen Yu’s reaction after being kissed.
Cheng Mofei closed his eyes.
He might really be losing his mind.
For a moment, he couldn’t tell which was more shocking, the sudden realization that he liked men, or the sudden realization that he liked his best friend.
Cheng Mofei instinctively reached for his phone, wanting to search for similar cases online to ease his worries, but then he hurriedly remembered that the phone wasn’t his, it was Shen Yu's.
He couldn’t dare to search such things on Shen Yu’s phone, so he had to suppress his anxious feelings and hoped the class would end sooner.
Finally, the bell for the end of the first class rang.
The second class would resume in ten minutes, but Cheng Mofei quickly got up and said to Xiao Xiong and Sun Xinghe, “I have some important things to handle on the computer, I’ll head out first. If you need anything, just call me…”
Cheng Mofei paused for a moment, realizing that his phone was still with Shen Yu and he wouldn’t be able to receive any calls. He quickly changed his words, “If you need anything, just message me on WeChat.”
After finishing, Cheng Mofei dashed out like the wind.
The two of them didn’t think too much about it and simply assumed that Cheng Mofei had some work to handle on his computer.
The professor for the course would only take attendance at the beginning of the first class.
As long as the number of students in the second class wasn’t too small, they wouldn’t follow up, since it was university, and things weren’t that strict.
Even if he got caught and lost some regular points, Cheng Mofei didn’t care. He had more important things to do.
He ran back to the dorm in one go.
Along the way, the cold wind slapped his face, which helped him wake up a little.
He kept asking himself in his mind, did he really, really like Shen Yu?
He had never liked anyone before, nor had he ever been in a relationship. He had no experience in this area, and he was afraid of making a wrong judgment.
The increasingly rapid beat of his heart gave him a clear answer.
After climbing up five flights of stairs, he belatedly realized that he had forgotten to bring his keys. There was no time to panic, so he hurriedly went downstairs to register for a spare key with the dorm supervisor to open the door.
After getting the key and finally opening the door on the fifth floor, he had to return the key to the first floor, then climb up the five flights of stairs again.
After going back and forth, up and down, Cheng Mofei was out of breath, but he finally sat down in front of his computer.
Many websites required registration to post, and registering required a phone number and verification code.
Since his phone was with Shen Yu, he couldn't register or post for help. He could only awkwardly search for various questions—
[How do you tell if you like someone?]
[What should a straight guy do if he likes his best friend?]
[What should you do if the person you have a crush on likes someone else?]
[How do you know if you're really gay?]
Suddenly, many related questions and responses popped up at the bottom of the page.
[The simplest way to tell if you like someone is to see if your emotions are being controlled by them. For example, when you’re with them, you feel really happy. If someone else gets close to them or has a good relationship with them, you feel jealous. You experience a very strong sense of possessiveness and afraid they might be "taken away," wanting them to belong to you alone.]
...
Isn’t this exactly how he feels about Shen Yu?
He should have seen this reply earlier, then he wouldn’t have taken so many detours.
He always thought that Shen Yu would be bullied by bad gay men, or that he would drift away from him once he started dating someone else.
But those were just excuses in his subconscious.
The truth is, he didn’t want Shen Yu to be snatched away by anyone. He didn’t want Shen Yu to fall in love with someone else. He just wanted Shen Yu to always be with him.
It turns out, this already went beyond the scope of brotherhood.
It was love.
[It’s painful to like a straight guy. Turning a straight guy gay isn’t ethical. Buddy I advise you to give up soon.]
Great, Shen Yu was already gay.
[I think you should be very careful. At least if you maintain the current relationship, you can still be brothers. If you take a step further and fail, you’ll never return to the way things were. The cost is too high.]
If they just maintain the current relationship, Shen Yu will end up with some other guy…
That other guy's personality isn’t like his, and once they’re together, he’ll definitely start whispering in Shen Yu’s ear, making him drift away from him.
Compared to a failed pursuit, he couldn’t accept Shen Yu distancing himself because of another man.
Anyway, the one closest to him now is himself.
Shen Yu also got along with him very well and even set him as a WeChat favorite, which was enough to prove that he was a "potential partner" in Shen Yu’s eyes.
Right now, all he had lost was just time—the time spent getting to know Shen Yu.
He and Shen Yu still had plenty of time to get to know each other better. Maybe, with time, Shen Yu would start to think he was even better.
[What if the person you have a crush on likes someone else? As long as they’re not together, there’s still a chance. How will you know if you don’t try? Opportunities are created by yourself. Instead of asking random people online, why not spend more time pursuing them? Strong women are afraid of persistent men, and strong men are afraid of persistent women. As long as your pursuit doesn’t bother the other person, keep going. There’s a high chance it will succeed.]
From tomorrow, no—starting now, he will officially become a pendant to Shen Yu.
[Is it really that easy to tell if you’re gay? If you like someone of the same sex, you can basically judge it. You’ll be more attracted to the same sex, find the opposite sex unappealing, and even have some x fantasies about the same sex… If it doesn’t work, just take at a film and see.]
In contrast to the process of discovering his feelings for Shen Yu, Cheng Mofei found himself accepting the idea of being gay a little more easily.
Of course, it was only "a little" easier.
Once upon a time, he was a homophobic straight guy. But in just a few months, he had changed so completely, bending so decisively. It was a bit bittersweet.
However, the phrases like "preferring to look at the same sex" and "finding the opposite sex unattractive" didn’t really apply to him.
He felt there was no need to differentiate between same-sex and opposite-sex; it was simpler to just divide it into "Shen Yu" and "everyone else."
He liked Shen Yu, and he still couldn’t accept other rigid, masculine guys.
Only Shen Yu was an exception in his mind.
The last part of the reply made him think of something. He had once asked Shen Yu out of curiosity how he realized he liked men. Shen Yu’s answer was that he happened to watch a movie about two men and realized he felt something.
Cheng Mofei paused for a moment, then immediately began typing and quickly searched for related resources.
About ten minutes later, Cheng Mofei locked the door to the dorm, closed the curtains, sat back at his computer, put on the headphones connected to it, and pressed the spacebar to start playing.
Since Shen Yu had initially determined his sexual orientation by watching this, he decided to watch it as well.
If it really came to that in the future... ahem, he could always learn something.
Anyway, it’s not much different from heterosexual relationships. Both are adults, so there’s no need to be shy.
He specifically chose a campus-themed film, which was most similar to the situation between him and Shen Yu.
At the beginning of the movie, the two protagonists returned to their dormitory, where it was just the two of them.
The dormitory had a bunk bed design, and the more delicate-looking boy sat down on one of the lower bunks. Soon, the other, larger boy approached and asked if he wanted to take a shower.
The delicate boy said yes, and the two of them went to the bathroom together.
After undressing in the bathroom, the two of them suddenly started kissing, and soon engaged in further unmentionable activities, with not much of foreplay.
Cheng Mofei furrowed his brow.
As expected, he still felt somewhat uncomfortable, but it was much better than before.
Thinking that he needed to learn and make judgments, he gritted his teeth and forced himself to keep watching, and surprisingly, he found it bearable.
Gradually, the two people in the film moved from the bathroom to the bed, then from the bed to behind the window… It had to be said, this kind of film really pushed the limits.
In reality, who would actually dare to do something like this?
Then came the finishing touch—someone suddenly knocked on the dormitory door, startling the two who were in the middle of intercourse.
But instead of stopping, they became even more excited, forcing them to deal with both the situation inside and the person outside.
Little by little, Cheng Mofei’s furrowed brows unconsciously relaxed.
It wasn’t because he had gotten used to the film, but because he was becoming somewhat distracted by it.
He... was getting into it.
If it were him and Shen Yu doing these things...
Fuck.
Cheng Mofei abruptly got up, rushed into the bathroom, and splashed his face with cold water. Then, he quickly walked back, determined to finish watching the film—he wanted to see it through to the end.
Just as the moans in his earphones reached their peak, his phone, which was resting on the table, suddenly rang, startling him.
It was a video call from Shen Yu on WeChat.
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